....

sigh i feel a little down today....at the same time awesome.. lol...yea i know what you guys are thinking... like how is that possible?.. lol...

well.. let's say im sad about me and God stuff..everyday i askGod.. to let me see and hear him....
i want him in every corner and every part of my life..i want to feel Him everywhere i go... i want Him to use me.... no matter what it may be... i just want hear His voice.. and see visions. and whatsoever.. you name it.

today... sebastian talk about crying to God... it really touched me...but somehow... i feel that aren 't i crying alrdy?..where are you?.. yea have faith and all and what not's... but why can t i be sure He's really there.?..i want to hear His voice literally.. i have faith that you'll be there... and you're always there for me.. and what nots

but why cant i really be sure you're speaking to me... i know you're there.. but i want to hear you... ?.all i want is just you,jesus .. nothing else.to hear and to see

during prayer.. faught back my tears.. i just didnt feel like crying at that moment... why do i always cry?.everytime prayer i cry... why?.. i dont feel the use to cry.... i keep asking Him for it.i cry everytime.... but why cant i get it?..

will i ever get it?...



thats what i meant...